Dealing with Difficult People...

As a Christian, how are we supposed to “deal” with difficult situations or difficult people? Usually our first reaction is to try and “get back” at the person or persons that caused our grief to begin with.  We feel like we need to make them pay for what they've done.  But the way God wants us to react is completely different, and doesn't come naturally.  We want the person who has wronged us, or someone we love, to be punished.  We want vengeance, but God says vengeance is His, and His alone.  We are to “love each other like members of our family”, “bless people who harass us” and “be the best at showing honor to each other”.  We are to never “pay back anyone for their evil actions with evil actions” or “try to get revenge for ourselves”.  God wants us to defeat evil with good. 

Romans 12:9-21Love should be shown without pretending. Hate evil, and hold on to what is good.  Love each other like the members of your family. Be the best at showing honor to each other. Don’t hesitate to be enthusiastic—be on fire in the Spirit as you serve the Lord!  Be happy in your hope, stand your ground when you’re in trouble, and devote yourselves to prayer.  Contribute to the needs of God’s people, and welcome strangers into your home. Bless people who harass you—bless and don’t curse them.  Be happy with those who are happy, and cry with those who are crying.  Consider everyone as equal, and don’t think that you’re better than anyone else. Instead, associate with people who have no status. Don’t think that you’re so smart.  Don’t pay back anyone for their evil actions with evil actions, but show respect for what everyone else believes is good.  If possible, to the best of your ability, live at peace with all people.  Don’t try to get revenge for yourselves, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath. It is written, Revenge belongs to me; I will pay it back, says the Lord. Instead, If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink. By doing this, you will pile burning coals of fire upon his head.  Don’t be defeated by evil, but defeat evil with good.

God also wants us to forgive each other.  Sometimes, well, a lot of times, that’s easier said than done.  Holding on to a grudge, and to anger, only weighs your heart down.  Forgiveness is a choice, and it’s not for the sake of the one who wronged you.  It’s for YOU. 

Colossians 3:13
Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.

I didn't write this so I could point a finger at you or anyone else.  I didn't write it because I thought you  needed to read it.  I didn't write it so that we could all think of people whom we believe “need” to read it.  I wrote it because God put it in front of me today, more than once, and said Amy, YOU need to remember this.  So I thought I’d share it, just in case you needed it too.  Blessings!

How Will You Be Remembered?

As I sit here at home, recovering from a minor surgical procedure, I'm wishing I could be with my sweet husband who had to fly home to Tennessee because his sister passed away unexpectedly.  My surgery was already scheduled and didn't need to be delayed.  I am so thankful for the wonderful friends I have here in Wilmington who have been so willing to take care of me and the boys while Scott is away.  His sister Beth was only 46 years old.  We went to High School together.  I knew her long before I ever knew Scott.  She had a very tough life, but this one thing I do know, she really loved her big brother and her nephews.  It's made me reflect on my own life, and how I will be remembered. Will the life I have lived point others to the love and salvation in Christ?  I jotted down some things I'd like to be, that I strive to be.  I don't always succeed, but I do try.  God's not done with me yet! These are also things that I truly hope I have instilled in my children.  So here they are, in no particular order.  I hope in some way this touches others lives as well and makes them think about what kind of legacy they will be leaving behind.

Honest - to remember the value of honesty, that honesty and trust go hand in hand.  Once trust is broken, it's nearly impossible to get it back.

Kind - everyone appreciates kindness.  Saying please and thank you, holding a door for someone, helping when they drop something, making eye contact and smiling, and having a good attitude.  Do your best to show kindness in every situation, wherever you go.

Compassionate & Empathetic - showing real concern for others suffering, and acting on it, being sensitive, warm & tender, helping another person who cannot help themselves. Understanding & identifying with another's suffering, listening and comforting them.

Forgiving - forgive others when they hurt you.  You don't really know the path they walk, the things that cause them to act the way they do.  Pray for your enemies, that God would help you to love the unlovable.  Carrying around a grudge is like carrying a huge boulder around YOUR neck, not theirs.  Refusing to forgive only hurts YOU.

Patient - Being impatient with people is an immediate turn off.  It makes you seem like an insensitive jerk.  Think about how you would want to be treated in a similar situation. Take a deep breath, understand that God has probably delayed you for a higher purpose. Look around and see what that opportunity might be.

Persevering & Brave - keep on trying, don't quit.  Work hard, despite difficulties, in spite of

opposition.  When you fall down, get back up, dust yourself off, and keep on going.  Be a good example to those around you.  Failure only happens if you quit trying.

Positive in Attitude - to be encouraging, to see the glass half full instead of half empty, to look on the bright side of life and find humor in my daily struggles, to stop complaining and look for the good in situations and in people.

Respectful - to receive respect, you have to give it.  It cannot be demanded any more than you could demand someone to love you.  It is something that is earned by exemplifying all of the above traits.  

Proverbs 20:11 - "Even a child is known by his deeds, whether what he does is pure and right."

In short - Live your life in such a way that if someone were to speak badly of you, no one else would ever believe it. 

And finally a quote from one of my favorite people:

"Leave everything you do, every place you go, everything you touch, a little better for your having been there." ~ Julie Andrews