Tuesday, April 9, 2013

26 years later....

This particular blog post has been a while in the making.  I'd say, about 26 years or so.  That's how long I've been in the Ministry with my husband...the first year as an engaged couple and the next 25 years married.  Yes, he's the one with the title, he's the one listed as the Minister of Music, but we are, and always have been, in this together...a team.  And, once we added kids to the mix, they too became a part of the "Ministry team".  I know when I became a Minister's wife, I really had no idea what I was in for.  I had some lofty ideas of how it would be.  Boy were they wrong.  Don't get me wrong, I've loved almost every minute of it, but it has been absolutely nothing like what I thought it would be.  I want my words to cause you to stop and think.  I'm giving you a glimpse behind the curtain, so to speak.  Being in the Ministry, we're up there in front of you, week after week.  You see us each week do what we do for the church, whether it's preaching, or leading the music, or performing it, and you have a perception of who we are and what we're like.  Unless you are a very close friend, those perceptions are based on just what you see up there in public.  It's a huge responsibility really, knowing that people are looking at you, your attitudes, your actions, your moods and making an assumption on who you really are, what you're really like.  It's a tiny bit like being famous, so to speak.  We are not by any means "famous", but a lot more people "know" us, that we actually know personally.  It gives you the feeling that you're always being watched, judged, even when you don't know it.  I'm not complaining, so don't get me wrong.  I cannot image being truly famous and never having a moment out in public to just be anonymous.  We're in a  small "fish bowl" thankfully, not the public aquarium!

What I'm trying to say, and being way too wordy in doing so, is that "this ain't no piece of cake".  Our goal is to do our very best, to be a good example in all situations, even when we don't know someone is looking, and to show the love of Christ to everyone we come in contact with.  We do not always succeed.  We make mistakes just like everyone else.  We fall down.  We get discouraged.  We get angry, and frequently frustrated.  We don't always feel like smiling or being nice...that's just life....but we do try.  There's not a single minister, or minister's family, on this earth, that doesn't deal with these same things.  So, the next time you are tempted to talk badly about the ministers in your church, I want you to stop and think for just a minute.  This man God has appointed to minister in the church has given up a "normal" life to do this job.  What has this man and his family given up you may ask?  Most don't get to live in their home towns, near the families.  They raise their kids far away from their Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles & Cousins and only get to see their own parents a couple times a year.  They give up any real negotiations on salary and benefits to take care of their family, because most churches take offense to a prospective minister even asking how much the job pays. Would you take a job that you knew didn't pay enough, didn't provide adequate benefits for you, much less your family, caused you to have to pay huge amounts of self-employment taxes, yet expected you to be the best dressed person at church, drive a nice car and live in their neighborhoods?  No...I dare say most of you wouldn't.  Who in their right mind would?  A Minister, that's who.  Why?  Because God has called them to do so.  There are very, very few churches out there that actually take care of their staff the way they should.  I'm not saying that the church should pay them big $$, so they can live in luxury.  There are basic things a church should do for their Ministry team.  They should pay them enough to live relatively comfortably in today's economy.  They should provide both health & dental insurance benefits for them and their family.  They should pay at least half of the enormous self-employment tax that is levied against ordained ministers.  And finally they should contribute to a retirement fund.  This is something many of you expect from your employer.  This isn't anything extravagant.  I can honestly say that of all the churches we've served in, only one has ever taken care of us this way.  I've heard people say, "Well MY employer doesn't take care of me.  Why should YOU get taken care of that way?".  That kind of attitude is exactly what is wrong with churches today.  The church is called to a higher standard.  We are not to be like the rest of the world.  We are to be the finest example of love.

Your minister's entire family is affected by how he is treated.  Don't whisper and murmur behind your pastor's back!  Don't block every new idea he brings before you because "you never did it that way before" or because you "don't like him" or you "are afraid of change" or you're just plain ol' grouchy & bitter.  STOP and THINK.  What is the church there for?  Is it so that YOU can be happy in your own protected little world where nothing ever changes?  Or is it there to reach OUT to a lost world and show them the UNCONDITIONAL LOVE that is in a relationship with Christ?  HOW can you show them that, if you cannot even show it among yourselves?  HOW can you expect anyone to look at your life, and how you treat your MINISTERS, and expect them to want to know the God you say you serve?  So, what can you do to show love to your Ministers and their families?  Pray for them daily.  They face just as many difficult issues as you do each day.  Love them.  That seems simple, but it seems to be one of the hardest.  Love them by actually getting to know them, and by taking care of them & their family.  A well-loved, prayed-for, Minister can concentrate better on doing God's work in the church and the community, instead of constantly worrying how he's gonna pay the rent, get his kid's cavities filled and fix his beat up old car.  It's biblical.  Just read 1 Timothy 5:17-18 or 1 Corinthians 9:14. Support them.  That also seems like an easy thing, but for some people it's not.  Your pastor is going to have new ideas, he's going to want to try new, biblically based things, and if all you do is constantly resist his efforts, well eventually he may just stop trying.  That is the sign of a dying church my friends.  If you wall yourself off from the outside world, cater only to your own needs and wants, and you don't try anything new to reach the lost, your church will DIE.  There are thousands and thousands of dying churches out there today.  Churches that haven't had one person baptized all year.  Churches that have zero young people attending.  Folks, if you don't have any young people in your church....your church is going to DIE.  They are the future, not the enemy.  Embrace them.  Remember what it was like to be young!  Be good examples for them to follow, not bitter, old grouches they want to avoid....but that's a blog post for another day!  In closing, I just want to say that, for me and my family and my minister husband, we cannot imagine doing a different job.  We are all in this together, for better or for worse, and we have experienced both in church.  It's not a job for wimps.  In my eyes, Ministers are Super Heroes!  Able to SMILE in the face of hurtful words, able to PREACH God's word in the face of sin, able to SING His praises in the face of adversity, and able to STAND against satan's attacks.  I leave you with this....if you would just pray for your Ministers and their families, love them and take care of them, come along side them with a willing heart and cheerful attitude helping them bring the lost ones home, support their new adventures in ministry instead of resisting, and really get to know their hearts for God, then that church you belong to would bloom, and grow, and thrive and reach the lost in record numbers!  The only thing holding it back....is your willingness to serve cheerfully along side your Ministers.

Isaiah 52:7-10
How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!" Listen!  Your watchmen lift up their voices; together they shout for joy.  When the Lord returns to Zion, they will see it with their own eyes.  Burst into songs of joy together, you ruins of Jerusalem, for the Lord has comforted His people, He has redeemed Jerusalem.  The Lord has shown His holy power before the eyes of all the nations.  All the ends of the earth will see the victory of God.   

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